Jokes

These are some of the jokes which i have collected. Read and enjoy.

2 people get 2 bombs,
1st person: Come lets give them to police.
2nd person: What if it bursts on the way?
1st person: We can let a lie that we had got only one..!!

Police: You will be hanged to death tomorrow at 5 am.
Prisoner: Ha Ha Ha Ha!
Police: Why are you laughing?
Prisoner: I wake up only at 9 o’clock.!

1^st Man: What do you do if you are feeling hot and sweating?
2^nd Man: I will go and sit in front of AC.
1^st Man: What if you are still feeling hot?
2^nd Man: Then I 'on' the AC.!

A person Prays daily for 2 hours,

“Hey God let me win a lottery please”

After 11 years angry god appears infront of him and say “Atleast buy a lottery ticket.”

A person was holding an umbrella with the hole.

Another person askes: “Why do you have hole in your umbrella??”

The person answers: “How will I get to know if its stopped raining?? I see through it.”

A person And Hitler

Hitler: “there is no word like IMPOSSIBLE in my dictionary”

Person: “What’s the use if you tell it now? You could have checked it before buying one.”

Customer: “I need a nail and a hammer for my computer”

Salesman: “But what will you do with them??”

Customer: “I want to put windows on my computer”

Passive voice

Teacher: Write the passive voice of  “I made a mistake"
Student: " I was made by a mistake"

Prof.: Chemical symbol of Barium?
Student: BA
Prof.: For Sodium?
Student: NA
Prof.: What will we get if 1 atom of Barium & 2 atoms of Sodium combines?
Student: "BANANA"

Dad to Child: When I beat you how did you control your anger?
Child: I start cleaning the toilet.
Dad: How does that satisfy you?
Child: I clean it with your tooth brush.

In bio practical:
Examiner: Tell me the name of this bird by seeing its legs only?
Student: I don't know.
Examiner: You are failed!
What's your name?
Student: See my legs & tell my name..